We’ve all seen it happen—maybe before we had kids, we even judged it. A toddler, red-faced and wailing, sprawled out in the middle of a grocery store aisle. A parent, exhausted and flustered, trying to calm them down while juggling a cart full of groceries and the weight of a hundred stares.
And then, one day, it’s you.
Your child is screaming, kicking, maybe even throwing things. People are looking—some with sympathy, others with judgment. You feel the heat rising in your face, your mind racing between getting your little one to calm down and wondering what everyone must be thinking.
It’s overwhelming. It’s embarrassing. And if I’m being honest? It’s one of those moments that makes you question everything.
The Weight of the Stares
In that moment, it feels like all eyes are on you, as if the entire store has paused to witness your struggle. Some people glance and move on, but others linger just long enough to make you feel like you’re failing as a parent. Maybe they think you’re too soft, letting your child “control” the situation. Or maybe they think you’re too harsh if you try to set a firm boundary.
No matter what you do, it feels like you can’t win.
But here’s the truth: no one in that store matters. Not the older woman shaking her head. Not the younger guy sighing as he walks past. Not even the well-meaning mom who gives you unsolicited advice about how her child never did that.
The only thing that matters is your child, who is currently struggling with big emotions they don’t know how to handle.
The Internal Battle
For me, the hardest part isn’t even the tantrum itself—it’s my own emotions. The frustration, the exhaustion, the guilt. The tiny voice in my head whispering, Why can’t I control this? Why does it feel like I’m failing?
But that’s just it. It’s not about control. It’s not about failure. It’s about being there for your child even when it’s messy and uncomfortable. It’s about reminding yourself that tantrums aren’t a reflection of your parenting—they’re a normal part of childhood development.
What Helps in the Moment
I’m still learning, but here are a few things that help me when my child is having a full-blown meltdown in the middle of a store:
1. Take a deep breath. Before I react, I remind myself that my child isn’t giving me a hard time—they’re having a hard time.
2. Block out the stares. If someone is judging, that’s their problem, not mine. I focus on my child, not on what strangers think.
3. Get on their level. If possible, I kneel down and speak calmly, offering comfort while still setting boundaries.
4. Redirect or remove. Sometimes, a quick distraction works. Other times, leaving the store is the best option.
5. Give myself grace. I remind myself that I’m doing my best. My child isn’t bad for having big feelings, and I’m not failing for struggling through it.
You’re Not Alone
If you’ve ever been in this situation, I see you. I know how heavy it feels, how badly you just want to disappear in that moment. But you’re not alone.
The next time it happens, remind yourself: this is just one moment in a lifetime of moments. It doesn’t define you as a parent. It doesn’t mean you’re doing something wrong. It just means you’re raising a little human who is still learning how to navigate the world.
And you? You’re doing just fine.
